2011 Post!

I can not believe that I have not posted to our Blog since last October! Well, let me explain.

It's been a tumultuous year, to say the least! Coming from a Pastor's wife that must sound horrible, right? Surely, I being a Pastor's wife, have all of the tools necessary to ride the waves of life and keep a smile planted firmly on my face and, of course, I have all of the right words to say at any given moment!? OK, time to kick the Pastor's wife off of the imaginary pedestal and realize she's just like everyone else :o) ... please!

While feeling sorry for myself, and feeling like absolutely "no one" was reading this Blog..and the words were just traveling through the circuitry we call the Internet...into no where... I abruptly stopped writing. And, when no one mentioned that they noticed. I realized.."I was right" no one was listening...reading...sharing.. so the Blog just quietly disappeared...no more mention on the enews that Pastor Dave sends out. No more pictures to take at church.. it just went away.

Then...tonight...as I sat with the most wonderful family. The Pack family. I found out that I had "one" follower.   Now, our one follower didn't say he liked the Blog, or disliked the Blog. He did say that he shared some things...but I don't know if that was meant as a compliment or not... he's such a funny guy :o) ... but, our one and only follower, reinvigorated me to start up our Blog again!!

Actually, I have missed it. It had been like a journal for me. Sharing the days, thoughts and friends we have made at theeffect over the years. I can still look back at pictures taken so very long ago. Friends who have come, passed through, gone home to states across the nation. Friends who have gone on to fight the good fight and friends we have lost along the way. All memories that I will forever hold close to my heart.

It took me a long time to accept theeffect. I, myself, was married to an alcoholic, 20 some years ago. He was a wonderful man. An accomplished man. Funny, bright, handsome and he actually fell in love with me :o).. well, there is no accounting for taste :o).... We had a whirlwind romance and within 6 months were engaged to be married! During the following 6 months we planned for our marriage! I moved in and life was bliss. I didn't know he was an alcoholic! I had no clue. I thought he partied too much..but hey, he would outgrow that, right? There were days I came home from work and he was passed out..but when he came to, he would share what a stressful day he had and I totally understood! We married, and shortly thereafter the walls came tumbling down. Did you know that an addict can have a plateau period if something eventful is happening in their lives? My husband had a plateau period..and it ended when we got married. Life changed drastically after that. I won't go into all of the details, but I will say that I was not prepared...at all...
I tried Al Anon...but, I wanted to fix "him" .. there was nothing wrong with me! or so I thought!  He would not go to AA because he felt he could control his drinking..and even after 2 rehabs...he still could not really admit that he had a problem.

He had a disease by the name of alcoholism. 20 years later..I have finally found the help that I needed to be a stronger me.  20 years later, I have met many men and women who have realized that they had a problem...that they needed help and are a part of our effect family now. Do they slip up sometimes...sure...but they know what life is like sober now and they hop back on. Those chips are cherished!! Believe me!! I have seen marriages grow stronger..I have watched them end. I watch men and women come to our Al Anon meetings and share their good moments and their bad. I see all of our AA family grow stronger all of the time. Our Tuesday night meeting is nothing short of a miracle! Young, old, men, women, families, spouses, friends...all getting a handle on life..one day at a time.

My 1st husband did not make it. Alcoholism took his life at a very young age. Too young, much too young. I would like to believe and I do..that he finally had a hold of his disease. He was desperately trying to detox himself. But, he was stubborn, and this time too stubborn. He tried to detox himself and his esophagus ruptured. He died in his town home, alone.

My heart is still broken, to this day, for the "what ifs". He left behind a beautiful daughter, who looks just like him. Who's mannerisms mirror his so very often. Thank goodness she has his intelligence!  Thank goodness, she does not have his disease. I left him a few years into our marriage. I wasn't strong enough to keep going. I see other women who have been strong enough.  I was not strong enough, I was not strong enough.
I was fortunate that God gave me another chance at love...My husband today,  David, ..has a heart for all who are recovering from something..anything.. actually, we all are aren't we??? It wasn't until years into our marriage that he became involved with "The Bridge" in Capo Beach. He became very involved in Recovery...and wanted his ministry to go in that direction..He felt pulled, tugged and just flowed in the direction of recovery . With the help of Jeff Jones and Bob Beachamp theeffect was created. We now had a new church, a new fellowship..a new addition to our family. In the beginning I fought this internally.. I've gained 30 pounds.. I've gotten grayer... the lines on my face are finally showing my age. Darn it! I thought.."God, why???" Of all of the ministries in the world...couldn't you have thrown me over to China to hand out Bibles?? Wouldn't that have been easier for me? But, this wasn't about me, and yet a big part of it was.. What better way to heal from a major hurt, than to walk right through the fire you came out of and back in and out the other side???

Now, I love theeffect. With a passion! I still keep hoping we could have some normalcy...like a great children's program..or a women's program..but, I am finally getting it.. It is what it is supposed to be. A place for all who are recoverying from something...to find a place where they feel completely accepted. You should see our church... we have old and young, tattooed and shaved, beautiful and homeless, families and friends. Recovering addicts...those just out of rehab..trying to learn to live again. We have those who have been in recovery for 30 years... sharing their wisdom with grace, laughter and sometimes a  few choice words. We have a message every Sunday that is  relevant for everyone today.. We are not religious.. but we are spiritual. We are not fundamentalists..but we are non-denominational. We are raw..open...and seeking... all of us.... yearning to hear our Father's voice. We pull together when life becomes tough. We keep in touch with our our of staters...because they will always have a piece of our heart. We have lost beautiful people...who have added so much to our lives and will always be a part of us all.

We are theeffect.

And, if there is anyone out there...reading this.. and you know theeffect, have been to theeffect.. please share your thoughts of what theeffect has meant to you. It would mean so much!!

OK...the Blog is back.. even if I don't hear from you. I realized tonight that I will do this to keep theeffect alive with memories, pictures of people passing through, thoughts and tears and everything that theeffect evokes. There is no other place like it. It is one of a kind. It should be copied and planted everywhere...but it is so unique..just how we could do that I don't know. I will leave that one up to our higher power... If he can keep us going...he might want a few more out there.

God bless you all.. Seek your higher power.. Serenity Now!
If you are having a hard time tonight..call your sponsor please! Go to as many meetings a week as you can handle. check out our website for all of our meetings throughout the week. Go to AA online and check out all locations!! And for all of you who think you do not need Al Anon..take it from one who finally "got it" 20 years later! I am going now..and it is helping me now..and I don't even have an alcoholic in my life right now. besides the many who are around me throughout the week :o) !!! Go...run...to your nearest meeting.. if the 1st one doesn't wow you..go to another.. and another and another! Go at least 10 times!  If, after 10 times you feel it doesn't work for you..ok..stop..but find counseling. You don't think you need it..but ..let me tell you from experience..you really do!

Good night! Peace Out! Sobriety works..you are worth it!